With my heart creaking, it’s time to show my cards and tell who I really am. You see, I am not who I say I am… I’m something else, I’m not a cat, I’m not a Pallas’ cat, I’m…
I’m a dog! I am Laika, Gray Laika!
And that’s not all! I’m a secret infiltration agent Cat World Government (CATZ), I fight them from the inside.
For years, cat interventionists have been twisting people’s minds. Egypt is just flowers. Now, with the Internet age, the impact of cats on the mind is stronger than ever! Cats are everywhere!
For thousands of years, cats have developed methods of influencing the human psyche. Evolution itself was their allies. Every cat has a parasite inside it Toxoplasma gondii. It enters the victim’s body upon contact with the cat, and then affects the frontal lobes of the brain, causing the invaders to love and cherish. In large quantities, Toxoplasma gondii causes schizophrenia and dementia.
Meowing – this is mimicry of a child’s cry! Hearing it, your paternal or maternal instinct awakens in you! And the tail and eyes of the cat in tandem zombify a person, before this purring turns off the last mechanisms of protecting the psyche from a predatory beast!
Cats are perfect manipulators! Only not many people are able to resist their charms.
The circumstances are unfortunate, cats have already enslaved people. Behind every great man in history there was an even greater cat.
What do they want? Nobody knows. One thing is clear – the Earth alone will not be enough for them! They seek to colonize other worlds. They are already training their first astronaut cats on secret government planes!
What will happen tomorrow? It’s hard to say. These Hitlers with mustaches revealed me. Their punitive squad is about to come for me. This is the end! The only thing I can do is warn you! Do not read this message in the presence of cats! They can erase your memory! Remember what I said! Together we can stop the mustachioed invader! They’re already here! Farewell!
Gray Laika, 01.04.2013.
Glory to the Cats! All power to cats!
Best comments
I knew you were hiding something! Why did you reveal your cards?? Do you think cats don’t visit Stopgame?.ru? Encrypt faster. Hired killers may already be gathering outside your windows. Or they will slowly drive you crazy, meowing all over the area, and when your psychological state reaches a critical point, they will convince you that you actually a manul. Then you will no longer remember your true dog face, having been conquered by these cute enslavers. Or has it already happened? What if this post contains an encrypted signal for an attack?? Friends, beware. Immediately start petting and feeding your cats treats. Maybe these actions will push back the time frame of the future. And never, never trust the Gray Pallas’ cat. It seems to me that this is a whole secret coalition, united under the name Gray Pallas’s cat. Again: never believe Gray Manuls.
Let’s forget that today is April 1st and this will really be your last post? Can? Well pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sad. I almost became friends with you. And that’s how you look. No, I’d rather give in to cats, I’ve loved them since childhood)
Would you leave a secret message on television, like the Eleventh Doctor in the second episode of the sixth season?. So recklessly wasted the chance to stop the invaders. The order for the assault has already been given. Repent while you still have time.
